is the name bodhi cultural appropriation

So, then, the “if I don’t get to wear my hair in cornrows, then you don’t get to have bangs” argument doesn’t really make sense. Emerson, Jameson are OK, but James, etc, would be loads better. Baby names and cultural appropriation: My husband is Black, and I’m white. You can think of it very simply this way: “Suffering exists; it has a cause; it has an end; and it has a cause to bring about its end.”. The only issue in our divorce is our dog, who we adopted together and is equally bonded to us both. Can I feel OK not explaining that she’s mixed-race every time we tell someone her name and inevitably get weird looks from other white people? You can cancel anytime. But this is the exact kind of suffering Buddhism seeks to stop. They came with tiny little rakes and a little box of sand. It reached the point where I started inviting him to everything to avoid his complaining about not being invited. Q. • Send questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. For me, and many other Asian Americans, this is Buddhism. His only social life is through friends he met through me and only when I take the initiative to make plans, and friends always invite my partner when they have parties because it’s just assumed we will come together. The signs are clear, right? You will receive a link to create a new password via email. Buddhism is complex, comprised of countless teachings and challenging practices. I am a middle-aged family man with four kids, and we love sitting out and looking at the mountains with our new fire pit. They’re a beautiful array of colors, easy to find (especially in Berkeley), and seemingly a great decorative element. And joy is, of course, a Buddhist tenet. “Sorry, you can’t join us” is still polite. Our neighborhood doesn’t have fences for the most part (it helps the deer roam freely without clipping a heel on the chain-link), and we all live on a half-acre lot or more. But few of these things are actually touching upon zen Buddhist teachings. You’re already holding hands and joking about marriage, which is to say you’re already taking a substantial portion of the “risk” inherent in adding sex and romance to a friendship. But I can’t stand the idea of this child being Amelia—it makes me want to scream and cry. But we now depend 100% on reader support to keep going. Your child is going to be Black and biracial regardless of her appearance, and I don’t want you to think you have to resolve or reassure the curiosity of other white people if she doesn’t always read as such to them. Monastics were so connected to the human suffering of that pain that they set their bodies on fire. I believe I may be asexual. Just because you’re less familiar a certain spiritual practice, that doesn’t mean it’s okay to disregard its significance to other communities – especially when those communities are marginalized people of color. For instance, Whole Foods used to sell these Lesser Evil chips. Help! You’re not proposing anything illegal, and it doesn’t sound like you’ve made promises to your ex you don’t intend to keep, since you’ve made your case to him about wanting to keep the dog. Discuss this column on our Facebook page! Regardless of your beliefs, I think we can all agree this implicitly Christian country wouldn’t tolerate any of the examples I listed in this article. But the extremely low wages make it nearly impossible to afford prison services and basic necessities.”, Which means that while eating better and being more physically healthy are admirable aims for the general wellness of people everywhere, they’re not necessarily Buddhist – because they emphasize. Using Buddhism this way is common within New Age spirituality. Before it ever opened to customers, a St. Paul restaurant specializing in Mexican street food has changed its name after activists protested, citing cultural appropriation. cheerful people around. I have an older neighbor who is living, alone, five states away from his wife (odd, I know). It tells us that the items and beliefs we hold dear and sacred are meaningless nick knacks or empty sayings you can make into cat memes. A: I agree that, since the neighbor sounds like a generally pleasant person and the letter writer seems somewhat interested in being friendly, setting up occasional, specific get-togethers is a lovely idea, and that it should still be accompanied by firm signals when a spontaneous conversation is eating into family dinner time. Probably the best way of understanding cultural appropriation is to look at some examples that have made the news. But I encourage all of us to – yes – be more mindful of how we can honor and respect Buddhism as a spiritual practice with meaning and value. But at the same time, we’re roommates and I’m afraid if I tell them my feelings, I’d lose my best friend. He thinks he’ll get a job and move back to our state in that same time frame. Plenty of kids share a name with their cousin, especially if that name has family significance, and it doesn’t dilute the meaning or significance. Q. Or perhaps you’ve even got a cursory connection to Buddhism. Folks like the Buddhist Peace Fellowship see it as a foundational “cultivate the conditions for peace, social justice, and environmental sustainability within our selves, our communities, and the world.”. Do you remember when “zen gardens” were cool? It assumes cultures are 100 percent original. My partner needs their own social life: When my partner and I first started dating years ago, if I would go to a party or to hang out with friends, he would get upset if I didn’t invite him. I know a lot of you might still be hesitant to let go of your Tibetan singing bowls, zen body oils, and laughing Buddha statues. My ex is moving out of state soon, and we’ve agreed I’ll have custody for the first few months. My lawyer hasn’t been much help in this regard because in our state, dogs are considered property. Adrian is fine, but I don’t like it. Here’s my question: After he moves, should I continue to compromise and share custody while my lawyer makes my case to his lawyers? Buddhism is often used in this way to connote harmless – and indeed, ethical – fun. Zen Buddhism is a sect of Mahayana Buddhism that emphasizes meditation and personal insight with a focus on benefitting others, impermanence, not-self, dis-ease. My ex and I both want to keep her permanently. Even more recently, one of my favorite movies, Thank You for Smoking, portrayed a Japanese man raking a presumable zen garden in the lobby of a giant Hollywood film agency where big tobacco executives are colluding to sell cigarettes to the masses. Slate is now asking those who read the most to support our journalism more directly by subscribing to Slate Plus. Something can be painful and true and reasonable all at the same time. Because cultural appropriation of Buddhism creates suffering for marginalized communities. By joining Slate Plus you support our work and get exclusive content. Am I asexual? In this case, instead of zen, it’s enlightenment. I am in a committed relationship, but we are miles away from marriage and kids—but it is my name. Implicit in your statement “I don’t know if our child will look more Black or more white to people” is the idea that if she looks “more white” than otherwise, you should de facto treat her as a white child, and vice versa. Confusion around things like prayer flags stems from the rampant appropriation of Asian cultural practices (especially religious ones) that has become so commonplace, it’s unacknowledged as racism. Because racial justice is an integral part of a Buddhism. Is there an option here I’m not seeing? At least until you can fully appreciate their significance and/or have a Buddhist practice. We encountered an issue signing you up. If you ask that then you have to ask some other questions. We’ve been trying for a baby lately, and while thinking up names, my husband suggested his mom’s name if it’s a girl. The headless statue is but one of many instances that depict how Buddhism has become decorative and largely meaningless for many. What would you do if he doesn’t leave or is the type to go, “Oh, in that case I’ll pull up a chair!”? Here’s an edited transcript of this week’s chat. I suppose my point is that I don’t want to be an asshole, and I feel like it may be problematic for me to have these displayed, but I also appreciate the symbolism behind them. Who gets the dog in the divorce? If anything is “problematic,” it’s that. Using words like zen to entice consumers with a sense of calm and happiness has become woefully commonplace. I like this neighbor and he’s a great guy, but I can’t seem to enjoy alone time outside with my family without him coming over. And before you think incarcerated men are being given a shot at rehabilitation through this cheese making program, ThinkProgress and Vice report, “[M]any of the inmates participating in CCI’s prison labor programs earn 74 cents a day for hours of labor. Do you have any insight? There was no awareness, no connection, no depth. Talking about it isn’t that much riskier—it just means you’re acknowledging what’s already there. Participation and appropriation are totally different things. Lots of best friends are affectionate, but if yours has suddenly started holding your hand on long walks together, cuddling on the couch, and suggesting the possibility of sex and romance, I think you can safely say the signs are there. And sometimes I wonder, A short Pinterest search yielded Tibetan prayer flags used for a, “Nepal themed” room, a professional photo shoot, and – my favorite – a, There seems to be an increasing understanding that white people wearing headdresses at Coachella is, I know this because the perpetrators in this case are, And while I love these folks (I’m still listening to. The website warps Taoist teachings to sell its product by using faux quotes like “If you think that enlightenment is separate from the drinking of beer, you have not yet understood”. However, I have since come to realize this understanding of cultural appropriation is flawed. Send me updates about Slate special offers. Make your own chance to do things without him! Imagine this: You’re a practicing Christian. A: If I’m understanding you correctly, you’re proposing to exercise your legal right to maintain physical custody of your dog while your husband is out of state. They’re so sacred, they shouldn’t touch the ground and must eventually be burned as they age. For the price of a single lunch out, you can help save us. I’m on board with this idea; I think it’s a fitting tribute. Antifa leaders are condemning the storming of the Capitol in D.C. as an egregious act of cultural appropriation. You say you have to explore this part of yourself and that you believe you’d be happier single than in a sexual relationship—that’s useful information. Racial Justice Would that be a terrible thing to do? I am tempted to be more adversarial and refuse to share custody once he leaves (which is my right) unless and until I am legally required to do otherwise. A: I understand why you fear your partner’s dubious (“at best”) reaction, but consider the alternatives: If you don’t say anything and simply stop having sex with him without explanation, your relationship will suffer, and if you don’t say anything and try to fake enjoyment during something that now feels like a “painful chore,” your relationship will suffer (not to mention your own individual suffering). I recently renovated my backyard to include a sitting area with a fire pit. You’re not sending the Little Match Girl out to die of exposure if you say, “Nice to see you, Fred, but I can’t catch up just now.” You’re just ending a friendly conversation, which is a perfectly normal thing to do. And joy is, of course, a Buddhist tenet. If you don’t want to try to redefine your relationship together, if you instead simply want to live happily with your dogs, then you should tell your partner you want to break up. I’m certain folks who are avowed Buddhists or believe in Buddhist tenets have good intentions or are entirely unaware of the implications of their actions. on repeat), the fact that it’s so widely accepted for mainstream artists to don religious objects as costumes for music videos or performances illustrates that Asian spirituality isn’t treated with the same respect given to objects from Western religions. Q. But he can do it! They were marketed as a way to be “mindful of what you put in your body.” And while yes, it’s great to prioritize eating real food with recognizable ingredients, there’s more to Buddhism than that. So if you have Buddhist trinkets that hold little to no value for you? My boyfriend tells me that if we have a girl, we can call her Amy or Lia or switch up my mother’s middle and first name. What do I do? But I think our relationship has taken on a new charge lately, and I like it, and if you feel the same way, I think we should give it a shot” is likely to go over pretty well. I took the driving force of her question to be “How can I understand, support, and nurture my future Black and biracial child, and what are the ways in which my own assumptions and beliefs about whiteness might impede such support?” That’s a meaningful question, and one worth considering seriously and extensively, and I wish her and her family all the best. Please try again. Learn more. I have essentially become our event planner. I love the sentiment behind this blog post because it shows us the bewilderment behind the use of prayer flags: The writer clearly “gets it,” but is reluctant to stop displaying them because—well—racist entitlement. Slate Plus members get extra questions, Prudie Uncensored with Nicole Cliffe, and full-length podcast episodes every week. New Age spirituality is often a potpourri of different belief systems sapped of historical and cultural significance with widespread beliefs ranging from occult teachings to UFO enthusiasts. I don’t want to hurt them. If everyone reading this only gave $12, we could raise enough money for the entire year in just one day. Recognizing cultural appropriation is just the beginning of that process. Cultural appropriation is the adoption of an element or elements of one culture or identity by members of another culture or identity. Not your name: My mother, “Amelia,” married a man with two daughters. What makes it possible for things like Lesser Evil chips to exist is an understanding of Buddhism that’s limited to physical goals like eliminating stress in your workday or pesticides in the food you eat. Except instead of Jesus on the cross, it was a statue of the Buddha. As they blow in the wind, they confer blessings and peace. Thanks for signing up! Advice? The others are surnames so seem a bit odd. They’re downright a good time. Elotes Woodfire Grill was slated to open Thursday on West 7th Street, inside the keystone Keg & … And you'll never see this message again. But I have to explore this part of myself. Feminism 101 It’s also true that while your relationship to your mother is distinctly your own, she was also a mother to your stepsisters, and their relationship to her belongs to them. All contents © 2021 The Slate Group LLC. It will hurt them. If you’ve ever met a monastic, then you know they’re some of the most lighthearted and. I’ve tried to make my case to him directly to no avail. Crossing the line into cultural appropriation. That’s not to say that her life won’t ever be informed by her appearance, but regardless she’s going to have a Black parent, a Black extended family, a Black history, and a relationship to Blackness that’s all her own, one that’s not dependent on the judgment of white strangers. But this beer and the lotion before it are prime examples of redefining Buddhism to erase its commitment to a greater social good and replace that aim with capitalist profit. As you walk into the entrance of your workplace one day, you see a statue of a decapitated Jesus head sitting on the floor decorating the hallway. We’re going to get back to [dinner/our conversation/stargazing], so I can’t keep catching up, but have a great rest of the evening.” You don’t need a fence to politely end a conversation, and it’s not rude or hurtful to end a conversation with your neighbor, no matter what his relationship with his wife is like. It should be my daughter. Any thoughts?”. Her academic and activist commitments are to laborers, refugee and queer communities. My neighbor thinks he’s family: I live in a small town in the mountains. All rights reserved. Telling your kids “We can’t sit in the backyard because I don’t know how to say no to a friendly neighbor” sends a really strange message about boundaries. Following a semi-viral Twitter thread on hearing people learning sign language, Liam O’Dell speaks to actors Alim Jayda and Emily Howlett about whether hearing performers learning BSL in order to secure more roles is the latest development in the cultural appropriation debate. There is worldwide reverence for the tradition and its beliefs, which include at the very most basic level: the truth of suffering, the truth of the cause of suffering, the truth of the end of suffering, and the truth of the path that leads to the end of suffering. The NFL Washington Redskins name & mascot — Are they cultural appropriation?. Even if you’re less familiar with the history and significance of Buddhist practices, you still have the capacity to tune into empathy and be thoughtful about how your misuse of them can contribute to harm. I’ll talk to you soon! They … If I try to stop him from doing it, he enjoys the attention and will escalate the behavior, so I’m thinking I need to let it happen, but it’s pretty hard to be chill when your kid is covered in vomit. Found this article helpful? Because cultural appropriation of Buddhism creates suffering for marginalized communities. You even help at church fundraisers. In either case, the next few steps are ways to shift your practice away from causing harm through cultural appropriation. It’s great that my friends and he get along so well, but I am starting to feel like everyone is treating me like I am not my own person anymore. And that means it’s rather jarring to see posts like the one below, which clearly indicate the popular use of prayer flags. The Cambridge Dictionary defines cultural appropriation as “the act of taking or using things from a culture that is not your own, especially without showing that you understand or respect this culture.”. She facilitates workshops on uprooting anti-black racism in Asian American communities. He tells me I need to not freak out and just accept this. and avoid shutting down. If you value our work, please disable your ad blocker. He only does this when he is in a high chair or car seat. is another example of employing Buddhism to create catchphrases. Submit your questions and comments here before or during the discussion. And sometimes I wonder, Why not? I think the safer option is to keep quiet, but I’m afraid of losing what could potentially be a loving romantic relationship. Cultural appropriation is real, and making "cases" for Anglicized "white" (Greek, Irish, British, Dutch, white Euro) names is ridiculous, seeing as those names are part of the cult of whiteness. What cultural appropriation is The name is a bit of a mouthful, but cultural appropriation happens when a dominant culture takes things from another culture that is experiencing oppression. It’s an incredibly important part of Buddhism to be present and intentional with your thoughts and actions. You can’t control it, and it would be wrong to object or to ask her to reconsider, but you can feel as angry and frustrated and grief-stricken as you need to in private, and to work through those feelings as best you can on your own. Just walking around a health foods store, I can find tons of things that will supposedly bring me “zen.”. It seems as if this neighbor isn’t the best at picking up social cues, so a subtle “Thanks for stopping by! Maybe he will, and maybe he won’t, but it’s impossible to predict that from here. If you missed Part 1 of this week’s chat, click here to read it. My Mom Wants to Build a Shrine for My High School Boyfriend. When groups of immigrants from these countries came to America or Britain, they assimilated, and changed the spellings of their traditional names. There was a moment in the ‘90s when they were all over the movies and big wigs used them as jokes to establish a sense of calm. It is irrational. She is finishing her Ph.D in Ethnic Studies at UC Berkeley where writes on race, gender and economics. I’m definitely projecting here, but I’m curious what advice you’d give if that happens. Danny M. Lavery: Thanks, everyone! A: Invite your friends to hang out with you—just you, by yourself, and make it clear in your invitation that you’re looking for one-on-one time, or at least time without your partner. A short Pinterest search yielded Tibetan prayer flags used for a “Nepal themed” room, a professional photo shoot, and – my favorite – a “boho offbeat wedding.”. Nike caused so much anger when they ‘borrowed’ some Samoan tattoo designs for their Pro Tattoo Tech collection that it actually led to a petitioncalling on the company to stop sales. Recently I’ve been doing a lot of therapy and soul-searching. We’ve ran through quite a few options and are experiencing name fatigue, so I’m hoping we can get some help! Putting an end to cultural appropriation in fashion therefore requires a thorough examination of how IP law can be improved to better respond to the needs of the holders of traditional cultural expressions in terms of how their culture is represented by fashion designers. And you’re already on your way to understanding more – after reading this, you’ve got the most basic takeaway down. You believe in God and Jesus, and you go to church every Sunday. I don’t want people to see two “white people” together and assume that I just co-opted a name most often used by Black women because I thought it was cool or trendy. Their biological mother was a waste of space, but my stepsister is pregnant with a girl and plans to name her Amelia. We're asking you to join our membership program so we can become fully financially sustainable (and you'll get cool perks too!) Failing to provide either with a basic level of reverence is deeply disrespectful and honestly, downright racist. When Victoria’s Secret … ... "It makes me sick," said one elementary school teacher as she read the Times column… The beer bills itself as “something consistently good natured,” complete with a laughing Buddha on the bottle itself. Danny M. Lavery’s new book, Something That May Shock and Discredit You, is out now. Countless socially engaged Buddhist teachers believe “Buddhist teachings are grounded in a clear recognition of suffering, an ethical commitment to non-harming and an understanding of interdependence: We can’t separate our personal healing and transformation from that of our larger society.”. Am I being an asshole? How do I get space? If you were, that’s fine. However, because my friends always invite us as a couple and he never turns down an invite because he never has anything else going on, I never get the chance to see friends or do anything without him. But I notice you don’t say anything about your feelings for him or about the 25 years you’ve spent together in your letter. Don’t try to stifle your feelings—just make sure that you’re able to process them in appropriate contexts so that you can offer friendliness or at the very least non-intrusive neutrality to your stepsister. There seems to be an increasing understanding that white people wearing headdresses at Coachella is clearly cultural appropriation, but when it comes to folks putting on bindis, kimonos, or a hijab, we remain oblivious. You’ve run out of free articles. It’s the little things—cuddling on the couch watching TV, going on a walk and then spontaneously holding hands, lots of hugging and physical affection—and just the other day they made a joking comment, “If you ask me, we should totally get married,” and then made another joke about being friends with benefits (we’re both single and were talking about how COVID has made us both sadly celibate). The CCI website notes that the labor program is designed to equip inmates with on the job training, skills development, and a sound work ethic. My toddler likes to make himself throw up for fun: This is a bit gross so read at your own risk. A: I’m not too worried about this neighbor just yet because it doesn’t seem like the letter writer has offered any cues yet, just engaged in friendly, long-winded conversations while secretly hoping he wanders away. I see prayer flags all the time. And well, that isn’t really Buddhist at all. When cultural appropriation happens, marginalized groups are offended by the way their culture is being represented in society. They too fear cultural appropriation, except that in this case it means the loss of the privileges that were long a benefit of whiteness, privileges which people of color appear to be taking. I imagine you’ll have a stronger legal case for maintaining sole custody if the dog’s been with you for the duration of your ex’s absence from the state, too. You should not work to reassure them or satisfy their idle curiosity, but cut them off and draw them up short. I can’t promise you that you’ll never feel guilty or conflicted about your decision, so it’s really a matter of figuring out whether you think this guilt is appropriate or misplaced. So he never has plans. However, when mindfulness and presence are used exclusively as ways to physically improve an individual person’s life, we’re missing the point of Buddhism. So yes, if he doesn’t say good night when the letter writer says, “Well, we’ve got to get back to stargazing,” then he’ll still have to follow it up with something firmer. And while I love these folks (I’m still listening to Lemonade on repeat), the fact that it’s so widely accepted for mainstream artists to don religious objects as costumes for music videos or performances illustrates that Asian spirituality isn’t treated with the same respect given to objects from Western religions. My kids even asked me recently, “Are we ever going to sit out again before it gets too cold?” and I said “We would, but I don’t want to entertain the neighbors.” I don’t want to be rude—I just want to use my new backyard addition without neighbors joining in. All they know is that you always bring him to parties and get-togethers, so they have every reason to assume that’s how you prefer to socialize.

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